Terrible Delicatessen -- 12.8.13

Taste This, It’s Terrible!

Life is a game. It’s a massive, surreal game. You’re playing it, I’m playing it. No one can opt out. Ever.

Not even Kreemie. 

Gary, on the other hand, is very… enthusiastic about life-games. As you see. 

NEXT WEEK: Massive comics celebrity Pee Oh Vesper is in town. Yes,this one! The real life guy! Inside The Deli! 

I’m serious!

Vivit post funera virtus.


Terrible Delicatessen -- 10.07.13

 You Light Up My Life, Part V --  Fricken' Broke

Kreemie's chomped off more than he can chew in this week's strip. As he and Ludmila--Kreemie's piquant new girlie-friend--walk down to the comics shop, he realizes who he is: a broke pseudo-intellectual.

OK, that's a bit harsh. He is  broke, though. Very broke. Oh, and Gary's mad parsimonious. 

Read on, patrons!


NEXT WEEK: Come heck or highseltzer, Kreems and Ludmila will  make it to the comics shop, money or no money.

And then what?

 Salus aegroti suprema lex.


Johnny Weirdbuy, or, Totally Acceptable Eccentric Behavior

Imagine yourself a wealthy individual. 

Sit and think about that for a second. Really think about it. Put yourself in a pair of them fictive Wealthy Shoes. You're at a point in your life where you are a very, very, very rich person. You've accrued massive earnings somehow. I don't know or care how you did it. You just have, and now you have a loathsome amount of money sitting in a Swiss bank somewhere. A sickening and outrageous amount. It's absurd. And really great. You are the 1%.

Alright. Are you there yet? Fine, good. OK.

You're at a point in your imaginary life where, with this stupid amount of money you have, you've paid everything off. The Essentials   . You've paid back any sort of loans or debt you might've amassed over the years. You have a house. A big-ass mansionhome. You have a fancy car or five. Kids? Sure. They have everything they'd need or want. Things they couldn't even fathom, they'd most likely have those things. Same goes for the rest of your extended family. They'd all have showy cars and big-ass fricken houses with mortgages paid in full. Everything and more, all taken care of. 

You've even purchased the things you don't necessarily need. Lots of those things. You have a sweet HD TV with the DVR and the BluToobs and all the technology. And you have all the iPads and first-print books and overpriced Ikea furniture and, like, two Shamwows and a jacuzzi you never use. You have all of that. The goods. You have the goods.

Now, are you there yet? Yes? OK, great. Fantastic. You get it now. You're filthy, grimy rich. Now what? 

You've finally made it to the point in your life where you are totally allowed to get immerse yourself in weird shit. 

What do you mean "What do I mean?" I mean you have so much goddamned money that you're absolutely, positively allowed to immerse yourself in eccentric behavior. Any kind. A great example of this happening is when Jimmy Page got super into black magic and bought Aleister Crowley's castle. 

See how it works? Jimmy Page was wealthy to a point where eccentric behavior was utterly justifiable; having loads of money makes it OK for you to act on your abnormal idiosyncrasies. It's a fact. A fact I just made up. But a fact nonetheless. Fact. 

Here's what I'd do. If I was filthydirty rich I'd build a room somewhere in my big-ass mansionhome and fill it with oversized clothing. Giant cowboy hats and sombreros, giant suits like the one David Byrne wore in Stop Making Sense. Those fantastic sumo suits. Giant sneakers. All of it. It'd be fucking breathtaking. I'd also have a small section of the room dedicated to miniature clothing, too. You know, feng shui. Balance or something. Right? There would be a small table with an assortment of small hats (like this or this or this), maybe some very small shoes. Exactly so. Yes.

So, have you thought about it? What do you think? Which eccentric hobbies would you get into if you were obscenely rich? Please share your thoughts with me. Feel free to get really, really weird with it. Dig deep into your subconscious. If you could practice a sort of borderline compulsion of a hobby that sounds ridiculous in this reality, which would you practice? Think about it. Really think. There has to be something. 

Send them over and I'll post them here and be judgey about it. Judgey in a good way. Probably.

Mucopus -- "Undimensional"

This is the title track from Mucopus' second album. It was recorded at Shaark Studios in Bzenec, Czech Republic during the summer of 2007. I played guitars on the record.

Success in the arts (to me, anyway) is coming as close as you can to  sculpting out your vision as accurately as you possibly can. I feel like if at least 80% of your goal is still in tact at the end of your project you can and should consider it a triumph. This song ended up one of my prouder musical moments simply because the result was damn close to what I originally envisioned.

None of your creative projects will end up perfect. Ever. And that's totally fine. Stop wasting your time meticulously editing and tweaking your song, your painting, your novel, whatever it is. After you've put in the work (and make sure that you actually have put in the work), be malleable with your material. Finish it and let it go. And then make more cool shit.