Terrible Delicatessen -- 11.25.13

Ennui Of My Own Design, Part IV: If It Feels This Good Gettin’ Used…

We get used. We get taken advantage of. We use each other. We take advantage of each other. We’re sensitive and we’re irrational.

Just like these two drips. 

Have a good one, patrons. 


P.S. Listen to this while or after you read this week’s strip for the fully immersive experience. 

NEXT WEEK: Check out Gary’s new look in Ennui Of My Own Design, Part V: New Menu




Non capiunt lepores tympana rauca leves.

11.25.13

Terrible Delicatessen -- 11.18.13

Ennui Of My Own Design, Part III: Listenin’ To Jackyl

Good goddamnI love heavy metal music!

Before anyone asks: Yes, Gary was at Woodstock ‘94. If you look really closely you can see him next to the crowd surfer in this video. I’m serious! And there were chainsaws! Truths! All truths!

What else? Oh, yeah—Stevie Scungilli! What a hip young chap he is. Nice chin, too! You’ll be seeing a bit more of him in the future, I’m sure of it.

And poor Kreemie. Poor, annoyed Kreemie. He’ll live, though. Right? Right.

NEXT WEEK: Ennui Of My Own Design, Part IV: If It Feels This Good Gettin’ Used…

Hortamur fari, quo sanguine cretus.

11.18.13

Terrible Delicatessen -- 11.4.13

 Kreemie's sad about Ludmila. Gary tries to cheer him up with choco snacks. Things don't go so well.

As per usual.

NEXT WEEK: In Ennui Of My Own Design, Part II: Podcrast, Gary just doesn't get it; "it" being technology. Kreemie loses it. Hilarity ensues. Ho ho ho.

Non scholae, sed vitae discimus.

11.4.13

Terrible Delicatessen -- 10.21.13

 You Light Up My Life, Part VII: All’s Crap That Ends Crap

So, there’s that. Going to let this one sink in on it’s own without any additional exposition.

Oh, and yeah. Graham Norton


NEXT WEEK: 
Since we left you with such a bummer this week, we’re going to make it up to you next Monday. Get ready for our special Halloween edition of Terrible Delicatessen, Halloween Meats For Treats!

Sometimes I put on a ski mask and dress in old clothes, go out on the streets and beg for quarters. - Mike Tyson 

 

Terrible Delicatessen -- 10.14.13

 You Light Up My Life, Part VI: Gone Kreemie Gone

In this week’s strip we meet Elix, the owner of Acceptable Collectibles. Hip guy, isn’t he? And yes, that is The Sorrows of Young Wolfman Vol. 6 omnibus! On sale now! Apparently.

But hey, what the hell happened to Ludmila? Where’d she go? Ah, those damn Serbian enigmas and their refined sensibilities and undefined social functions! What the hell, damn guy?!

Check back next week for the conclusion of You Light Up My Life. It’s a doozy, folks.

Oh, and yeah. Graham Norton.


NEXT WEEK: 
I already wrote a log line for next week, ya goof!

Repetita iuvant.

 

Terrible Delicatessen -- 10.07.13

 You Light Up My Life, Part V --  Fricken' Broke

Kreemie's chomped off more than he can chew in this week's strip. As he and Ludmila--Kreemie's piquant new girlie-friend--walk down to the comics shop, he realizes who he is: a broke pseudo-intellectual.

OK, that's a bit harsh. He is  broke, though. Very broke. Oh, and Gary's mad parsimonious. 

Read on, patrons!

 

NEXT WEEK: Come heck or highseltzer, Kreems and Ludmila will  make it to the comics shop, money or no money.

And then what?

 Salus aegroti suprema lex.

10.7.13

Terrible Delicatessen -- 9.16.13

You Light Up My Life, Part II -- Shared Interests

The enigmatic girl of indeterminate ethnic descent is mega into comics. What more could Kreemie want from the opposite sex?  Who is this chick, anyway?  Are things actually looking up for Kreemie? And why do makeshift laundry-jaunts make Gary so damn happy? 

NEXT WEEK:  You Light Up My Life, Part III. Kreemie preps for The Date by spiraling into self-doubt. Good ol' Kreembo. 

Timendi causa est nescire.

 

9.16.13

Terrible Delicatessen -- 9.9.13

You Light Up My Life, Part I -- The Girl Of Kreemie's Dreamies

What would you do if an inscrutable young woman of Eastern European descent walked into your deli and wanted a roast beef sandwich? Would you fall in love?

Yes. Yes you would. Of course you would . You'd get all hot 'n bothered. You'd come to be delirious and euphoric. And delusional. Like Kreemie. 

And then your boss would walk into the frame in nothing but his skivvies. And you and your dream partner would be mortified. That's what would happen. Because that's how life is.

Isn't it? 

NEXT WEEK:  You Light Up My Life, Part II . I know it was you, Gary! You broke my heart! YOU BROKE MY HEART.

Quien me amat, amet et canum meum.

 

Terrible Delicatessen -- 9.2.13

Gary ain't screwed. We sometimes let the most infinitesimal life-items drive us insane, like when you get deodorant on your t-shirt, or you wait over a minute at a stoplight, or when there are ants in your cereal. In this week's strip, Gary loses it over a BCC email.

Don't be Gary.

Or be him, what do I care?

9.2.13

NEXT WEEK: You Light Up My Life, Part I. Kreemie's in love!

Difficile est longum subito deponere amorem.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 8.26.13

No Pont l'Eveque ever. Life stinks, for the most part, though some people manage to make things work no matter how bad it reeks. Like Gary, for instance.

Kreemie, on the other hand... not so much.

8.26.13

8.26.13

NEXT WEEK: Gary gets a Bcc: email, Kreemie spouts off some icy-cold internet facts, and Mr. Craig List makes a special guest appearance. Kind of.

Ulula cum lupis, cum quibus esse cupis.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 8.12.13

The Bro Sip is a thing. Kreemie witnesses an earnest Bro Sipand gets all churlish about it. Gary identifies with Bro-ass Bros. Usual nonsense at the Deli, you know.

8.12.13

Supplemental: The origin of The Bro Sip.

A History of Bro Sips

A History of Bro Sips

Bro Sip diagrams:

Exhibit A

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit B

NEXT WEEK: Behind The Counter, S1 E1!Includes a making-of video and original Vesper sketches! Come behind the scenes with P.O. Vesper and I as we walk you through the visual Terrible Delicatessen's origins and processes. Docendo discimus.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 8.5.13

You never, ever mess with another man's anchovies. Down with crappy ironic-looking pizza men and the tricks they pull! Get 'em, Gary!

8.5.13

NEXT WEEK: Kreemie witnesses a Bro Sip live and in the flesh. What the hell does that even mean? Come back next week and behold... THE BRO SIP.

It's a thing, I swear.

Bene diagnoscitur, bene curatur.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 7.22.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Gary will stop at nothing to make something of himself in this world. Which is why he ate all the rye chips.

7.22.13

NEXT WEEK: Double-sized strip! Kreemie goes to the gym and feels more or less inadequate! Gary flexes and acts like he uses Icopro! Macte animo! Generose puer sic itur ad astra!

Terrible Delicatessen -- 7.15.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Gary's Monday Morning Miasma is extra rank. Why and how? Because he went dancing and got lucky! That's why and how!

7.15.13

NEXT WEEK: You never want to be That Guy. You should know this. Homo homini lupus est.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 7.8.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Kreemie questions what it is to be an adult in this week's quasi-Künstlerroman comic strip. Also, action figures!

7.8.13

 

NEXT WEEK: Gary goes dancing! Elephantem saltare doces.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 7.1.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Subjects broached in this week's strip: 5K Marathons, bucket lists, the dictums of Winston Churchill, ennui.  Plus Gary chows down on a Sloppy Joe. Honestly, what more could you want?

Enjoy it.

7.1.13

NEXT WEEK: Is Kreemie a grown-up? How much of an adult is Gary, really? And while we're at it, what's your deal? Who are you right now?  Get all quasi-existentialist with next week's strip. Quem di diligunt, adulescens moritur.

 

 

Terrible Delicatessen -- 6.24.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Are pitbulls telepathic? How often do Muscley 'Roid Guys order double salami on their sangwiches? Will Kreemie ever stop passing judgement on customers? All the important questions are posed in this week's strip. Enjoy it, patrons.

6.24.13

NEXT WEEK: Kreemie wants to run a 5K. Gary tells us what he thinks about bucket lists. Abyssus abyssum invocat.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 6.17.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Kreemie waxes and whinges on about the death of Western arts. Gary makes him eat crow and condiments.

What a great boss.

6.17.13

NEXT WEEK: Kreemie mouths off to Muscley 'Roid Guy and his pitbull. Funny ensues. Que sera, sera.

'Terrible Delicatessen' -- 6.10.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Kreemie spends hours futilely working on food-art in this week's strip, only to have it spoiled by his delusional despot of a boss, Gary Sanzar.

Kreemie's futile attempts at food-art.

NEXT WEEK: Kreemie whines about the state of Western media industries, Gary humbles him. C'est la vie.