Terrible Delicatessen -- 11.18.13

Ennui Of My Own Design, Part III: Listenin’ To Jackyl

Good goddamnI love heavy metal music!

Before anyone asks: Yes, Gary was at Woodstock ‘94. If you look really closely you can see him next to the crowd surfer in this video. I’m serious! And there were chainsaws! Truths! All truths!

What else? Oh, yeah—Stevie Scungilli! What a hip young chap he is. Nice chin, too! You’ll be seeing a bit more of him in the future, I’m sure of it.

And poor Kreemie. Poor, annoyed Kreemie. He’ll live, though. Right? Right.

NEXT WEEK: Ennui Of My Own Design, Part IV: If It Feels This Good Gettin’ Used…

Hortamur fari, quo sanguine cretus.

11.18.13

Terrible Delicatessen -- 10.28.13

Halloween Meats For Treats

Kids are jackals, aren’t they? It’s Halloween at The Deli this week and the boys are celebrating with fantastic costumes and meats. Have a Happy Halloween this week, patrons. 

NEXT WEEK: New arc! Ennui of My Own Design, Part I: Podcrast.

Cor boni concilii statue tecum non est enim tibi aliud pluris illo.

10.28.13

Terrible Delicatessen -- 10.21.13

 You Light Up My Life, Part VII: All’s Crap That Ends Crap

So, there’s that. Going to let this one sink in on it’s own without any additional exposition.

Oh, and yeah. Graham Norton


NEXT WEEK: 
Since we left you with such a bummer this week, we’re going to make it up to you next Monday. Get ready for our special Halloween edition of Terrible Delicatessen, Halloween Meats For Treats!

Sometimes I put on a ski mask and dress in old clothes, go out on the streets and beg for quarters. - Mike Tyson 

 

Terrible Delicatessen -- 10.14.13

 You Light Up My Life, Part VI: Gone Kreemie Gone

In this week’s strip we meet Elix, the owner of Acceptable Collectibles. Hip guy, isn’t he? And yes, that is The Sorrows of Young Wolfman Vol. 6 omnibus! On sale now! Apparently.

But hey, what the hell happened to Ludmila? Where’d she go? Ah, those damn Serbian enigmas and their refined sensibilities and undefined social functions! What the hell, damn guy?!

Check back next week for the conclusion of You Light Up My Life. It’s a doozy, folks.

Oh, and yeah. Graham Norton.


NEXT WEEK: 
I already wrote a log line for next week, ya goof!

Repetita iuvant.

 

Terrible Delicatessen -- 10.07.13

 You Light Up My Life, Part V --  Fricken' Broke

Kreemie's chomped off more than he can chew in this week's strip. As he and Ludmila--Kreemie's piquant new girlie-friend--walk down to the comics shop, he realizes who he is: a broke pseudo-intellectual.

OK, that's a bit harsh. He is  broke, though. Very broke. Oh, and Gary's mad parsimonious. 

Read on, patrons!

 

NEXT WEEK: Come heck or highseltzer, Kreems and Ludmila will  make it to the comics shop, money or no money.

And then what?

 Salus aegroti suprema lex.

10.7.13

Terrible Delicatessen -- 9.30.13

 You Light Up My Life, Part IV --  Getting To Know You

So who is this bonnie lass Kreemie's been chatting up recently? We find out today!

Also, Kreemie quotes George Bernard Shaw all casual-like. What an a-hole. Compulsive hyper-intellectualism gets you nowhere, folks!

 

 NEXT WEEK: Kreemie's fricken' broke! Fricken' broke!

Dives est qui sibi nihil deesse putat.

 

9.30.13

Terrible Delicatessen -- 9.16.13

You Light Up My Life, Part II -- Shared Interests

The enigmatic girl of indeterminate ethnic descent is mega into comics. What more could Kreemie want from the opposite sex?  Who is this chick, anyway?  Are things actually looking up for Kreemie? And why do makeshift laundry-jaunts make Gary so damn happy? 

NEXT WEEK:  You Light Up My Life, Part III. Kreemie preps for The Date by spiraling into self-doubt. Good ol' Kreembo. 

Timendi causa est nescire.

 

9.16.13

Terrible Delicatessen -- 8.26.13

No Pont l'Eveque ever. Life stinks, for the most part, though some people manage to make things work no matter how bad it reeks. Like Gary, for instance.

Kreemie, on the other hand... not so much.

8.26.13

8.26.13

NEXT WEEK: Gary gets a Bcc: email, Kreemie spouts off some icy-cold internet facts, and Mr. Craig List makes a special guest appearance. Kind of.

Ulula cum lupis, cum quibus esse cupis.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 8.12.13

The Bro Sip is a thing. Kreemie witnesses an earnest Bro Sipand gets all churlish about it. Gary identifies with Bro-ass Bros. Usual nonsense at the Deli, you know.

8.12.13

Supplemental: The origin of The Bro Sip.

A History of Bro Sips

A History of Bro Sips

Bro Sip diagrams:

Exhibit A

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit B

NEXT WEEK: Behind The Counter, S1 E1!Includes a making-of video and original Vesper sketches! Come behind the scenes with P.O. Vesper and I as we walk you through the visual Terrible Delicatessen's origins and processes. Docendo discimus.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 8.5.13

You never, ever mess with another man's anchovies. Down with crappy ironic-looking pizza men and the tricks they pull! Get 'em, Gary!

8.5.13

NEXT WEEK: Kreemie witnesses a Bro Sip live and in the flesh. What the hell does that even mean? Come back next week and behold... THE BRO SIP.

It's a thing, I swear.

Bene diagnoscitur, bene curatur.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 7.22.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Gary will stop at nothing to make something of himself in this world. Which is why he ate all the rye chips.

7.22.13

NEXT WEEK: Double-sized strip! Kreemie goes to the gym and feels more or less inadequate! Gary flexes and acts like he uses Icopro! Macte animo! Generose puer sic itur ad astra!

Terrible Delicatessen -- 7.15.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Gary's Monday Morning Miasma is extra rank. Why and how? Because he went dancing and got lucky! That's why and how!

7.15.13

NEXT WEEK: You never want to be That Guy. You should know this. Homo homini lupus est.

Mind of Makiko

Makiko Suda is a fantastic cartoon scribbler based out of Tokyo, Japan. She also sings for the all-female grindcore outfit Flagitious Idiosyncrasy in the Dilapidation. You should check them out. Here are a few of her recent works. Ice Cream Boy

It's that time of the season, folks. The air is dense, almost syrupy with humidity. Who else would you rather want to hang out with other than Ice Cream Boy? Makiko explains:

He claims himself "Real Chocolate Ice Cream", and demands you to scoop the ice cream and serve it on a fancy glass dish. He gets mad when you try to eat from him directly because he thinks he is a posh ice cream.

Robot Banana

A visual manifestation Melt Banana using a drum machine. If you're wondering what the band sounds like, just take a hard look at those googley banana eyeballs. That's what they sound like. Really.

Gremlin Man

This guy always reminded me of a gremlin hopped up on yerba mate and SSRIs. A-dor-ablay.

Hand Man

Makiko's description is the most accurate:

He is a egg, but has six flexible hands and no legs. He is really annoying, always interrupts people's talking. He sometimes gets cracked.

Fire Boy and Candle

According to Makiko, Fire Boy is rather quiet but nice. Since he consists mainly of fire he keeps a distance from most other people. It's a bit sad. Candle is one of his best buds, though. Here we see Fire Boy doing Candle a solid.

Consolation

Cheer up, buttercup.

So, what do you think?

Terrible Delicatessen -- 7.8.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Kreemie questions what it is to be an adult in this week's quasi-Künstlerroman comic strip. Also, action figures!

7.8.13

 

NEXT WEEK: Gary goes dancing! Elephantem saltare doces.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 7.1.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Subjects broached in this week's strip: 5K Marathons, bucket lists, the dictums of Winston Churchill, ennui.  Plus Gary chows down on a Sloppy Joe. Honestly, what more could you want?

Enjoy it.

7.1.13

NEXT WEEK: Is Kreemie a grown-up? How much of an adult is Gary, really? And while we're at it, what's your deal? Who are you right now?  Get all quasi-existentialist with next week's strip. Quem di diligunt, adulescens moritur.

 

 

Terrible Delicatessen -- 6.24.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Are pitbulls telepathic? How often do Muscley 'Roid Guys order double salami on their sangwiches? Will Kreemie ever stop passing judgement on customers? All the important questions are posed in this week's strip. Enjoy it, patrons.

6.24.13

NEXT WEEK: Kreemie wants to run a 5K. Gary tells us what he thinks about bucket lists. Abyssus abyssum invocat.

Terrible Delicatessen -- 6.17.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Kreemie waxes and whinges on about the death of Western arts. Gary makes him eat crow and condiments.

What a great boss.

6.17.13

NEXT WEEK: Kreemie mouths off to Muscley 'Roid Guy and his pitbull. Funny ensues. Que sera, sera.

'Terrible Delicatessen' -- 6.10.13

Kreemie Dunbar is a writer with no money. He pays the bills by working at an awful, awful deli. Kreemie spends hours futilely working on food-art in this week's strip, only to have it spoiled by his delusional despot of a boss, Gary Sanzar.

Kreemie's futile attempts at food-art.

NEXT WEEK: Kreemie whines about the state of Western media industries, Gary humbles him. C'est la vie.